Mark Maas has been a longtime friend and supporter of Top 20 Training. His book One Team / One Family: Winning Is a Lifestyle reflects the belief that building character, trust, and positive chemistry is at the core of success. He recently sent us the following email related to compliments.

“After reading last week’s Wellness Wednesday, I made compliment my word of the day yesterday in spin class. It sparked a small discussion about how we should be more complimentary, but for whatever reason are hesitant sometimes. I think one reason is it’s easier to bring up negative stuff about others, as if we’re better if we make someone feel less than they are. Some in the group thought it was because giving a compliment takes the shine off our self and puts it on others. Our egos have been conditioned to not allow this.”

“Personally, and maybe selfishly, I enjoy the smile on someone’s face when I give a compliment. It makes us both feel better, like the giver is more blessed than the receiver. As the Buddha said, it must be sincere and not in search of something in return: “spoken in truth, spoken at the right time with true affection, spoken beneficially with a good mind and a good heart.”

There are reasons that we might not like compliments or that make us feel awkward. How we feel about our self has a large impact on how we receive compliments. If what we hear conflicts with how we see or feel about our self, we are likely to reject the compliment. It might also make us feel uncomfortable because we are trying to be humble or feel there are big expectations we might not be able to live up to.

Nonetheless, let’s take Mark up on his idea to make compliments our word of the day. In fact, let’s stretch it to our word for the month of March.

As for me:

From our Top 20 team: Willow, Tom, and Kevin.

Paul Bernabei
Top 20 Training