As we consider how we can develop Star Qualities, one way is by lowering our Negative Mental Habits. It’s like two kids on a see saw. If one goes down, the other goes up. If our impatience goes down, our patience goes up.

Organized: able to keep life in order so problems and conflict are limited.

  • Consider areas of your life that need to be more organized. Why are these areas not currently organized?
  • Guide children to put things back where they belong after use.
  • Introduce children to the concept of time by discussing the length of activities, schedules, and calendars.
  • Enlist children in organizing their backpack, desk, or clothes.

Outgoing: friendly and sociable; able to relate to the emotions and behavior of others.

  • I learned to be more outgoing from my college roommate. Jim would connect with people by asking questions. I have adopted this strategy and it has helped me connect with others.
  • Increase interactions with children during meals or other activities. Invite them to share their likes and dislikes.
  • Teach children manners and social behaviors that can be practiced on the phone and in social conversations. For example, say thank you to the clerk at a store or “How are you feeling today, Grandma?”


Persistent: to persevere with effort until completion; follow through and finish. Although it appears that some people succeed easily, tremendous effort and persistence goes into achieving what often looks easy to an outsider. Perseverance is the key difference between those who try and those who succeed.

  • How do you assess your persistence with tasks that are difficult to complete?
  • Point out to children examples of persistence, hard work, and endurance when you see it in carpenters working, athletes training, or musicians practicing.
  • Share with children times when you stuck to a project even when you were frustrated. Remind them of times when they did the same.
  • Allow children to finish tasks even when frustration and fatigue occur.

“Never do anything for a child that a child can do for himself or herself.”

– Magda Gerber

Which of these Star Qualities do you want to develop? Just pick one strategy that you will do this week to help you move in that direction.

From our Top 20 team, Willow, Tom, and Kevin, who have experienced declines in Negative Mental Habits.

Paul Bernabei
Top 20 Training