In the last two weeks, we identified that hope…the belief that something incredible is possible…is fostered when we are in a relationship or culture where people are:

  • Helping others succeed
  • Communicating ‘You matter’

A pandemic is an event in which a disease spreads and affects a large number of people. Long before Covid-19 found its way to our shores, America suffered from another pandemic…Dishonoring the Absent. It spreads through when we talk about others in a negative way when they are not present and, as is indicated in the sample dialogues below, takes hope and trust as its victims.

When we suffer from the disease of dishonoring a person, trust is violated. In that condition, hope and all the incredible possibilities we can accomplish are shattered.

The vaccine that will immunize us from this destructive disease is a steady dose of Honoring the Absent…speaking of people who are not present in ways that are in their best interest. When we do so, trust is built and hope is restored.

A way to assure that we are Honoring the Absent is to practice the 2-out-of-3 Rule. We can:

  1. Say someone’s name.
  2. Say something negative.
  3. Say it to someone else.

If we do all three of these, we are Dishonoring the Absent. However, if we only do 2 of the 3, we are not dishonoring.

  • We can (1) say someone’s name and (2) say something negative, just don’t (3) say it to someone else.
  • We can (1) say someone’s name and (3) say it to someone else, just don’t (2) say something negative.
  • We can (2) say something negative and (3) say it to someone else, just don’t (1) say someone’s name.

If we want to develop a culture in which people thrive and incredible things happen, an essential condition is Honoring the Absent.

Check in with those you live or work with and ask: How do we do things here…do we Honor or Dishonor the Absent?

From Top 20…Kevin Brennan, Willow Sweeney and Tom Cody…who prevent dishonoring from becoming a habit on our team.

Paul Bernabei
Top 20 Training