The last two Wellness Wednesday messages focused on ineffective listening and ways to listen effectively. In case you missed it, we tend to listen ineffectively when we’re not aware and not intentional about how we listen. In those moments, it’s common for 1) our Life to be on our Mind, 2) judgmental thoughts to occur, 3) distractions to pop up, and 4) overly processing what we’re hearing, which in turn ups the likelihood we miss the heart of the moment.
To combat those four ineffective listening levels, we discussed two strategies to get to the Zone of listening. The first way was by using the words “Not now.” When we’re not in the zone, saying “Not now” can bring us back to focus. When we say those words, we are shortening the amount of time we’re away from the zone. The second strategy is to use the Mental Parking Lot. Putting our issues or challenges into our Mental Parking Lot let’s us focus in the present until we can retrieve them later and deal with them more effectively. By ‘parking them’ we are helping our brain refocus because we know we will address them when we are free to do so.
THE ZONE AND OTHER AREAS OF OUR LIFE
Great things come from listening in the zone. Below are four areas where listening can help bring great benefits to our lives.
- Reading: We can read four pages in a novel only to realize that because we were distracted or had life on our mind, we have no recollection of what was read. A simple “Not now” might get us back on track the next time our mind wanders while reading.
- Performing: It is difficult to perform the professional tasks of our jobs when we are not in the Zone. Delivering a lesson, conducting a practice, or speaking to clients on the telephone can be ineffective experiences when our thinking is not focused.
- Sleeping: We fall asleep only when we are in the Zone! Distractions, judgments, and life on our mind keep our mind racing and keep us awake.
- Relationships: Becoming aware and acting on these listening levels can have a profound impact on our relationships, both professional and personal. Listening in the Zone may be hard work, but it immediately communicates “You Matter” to the speaker.
Often, in our roles in life, it is our task to help our those around us gain important insights about their lives. Sometimes, we may offer helpful suggestions or advice, but there are times when those pearls of wisdom are not sufficient. The most meaningful insights come from the inside, not the outside. The best way for someone to gain such insight is to talk with someone who really listens to them. This can be the most powerful form of communication that we can give: an empathetic ear.
Please keep all of this in mind as you intentionally open your ears this week. Challenge yourself regarding what you became aware of while reading this newsletter. What is one action you would like to take?
All the best to you and yours from our Top 20 team,…Tom, Willow, and Kevin
Kevin Brennan
Director, Top 20 Training
651-373-0297
kevin@top20training.com
